a series of unfortunate events

You know those days that don’t really go according to plan? If you’re my FB friend, you’ll probably have read part of this already.

This morning was going to be an off morning anyway, as I had a prenatal appointment, Noah had to go talk to his boss*, and I had to find some time to fit three hours of work in. I was going to go into work at 8:45 and take Liliana with me so that Noah could go talk to his boss, then he was going to come with me to my prenatal appointment at 10:00, drop me back off at work, pick me up at 2:30ish so I could drive him to his physio appointment at 3:00 and pick Kaylie up from school at 3:15. Sounds simple, right?

(*Noah’s been off work for six weeks with a back injury, this being his last day, barring a bad physio assessment this afternoon, and he had to tie up some loose ends.)

Well, I usually shower at night, but last night I wasn’t feeling well so I just went to bed instead. I was going to just skip it this morning and have one tonight, but then I figured if I was going to have a medical professional in close contact, I should probably have one this morning. It was a rushed morning anyway, as Noah and Liliana usually stay home but today they were coming with and I had to make some muffins because Kaylie didn’t have enough other things to take in her lunch. So, it was 8:15, we were supposed to leave in 5-10 minutes, and I was still unshowered and in my sweats (but there were muffins!)

I told Noah to just go, and to come back and pick Liliana and me up just before 10:00, and we’d go to the appointment from there. I thought I heard a thumping when I was in the shower, but I figured it was just Liliana fooling around in her bedroom, which is right beside the bathroom.

I glanced at the clock at about 9:40 and figured Noah would be back soon, so I was getting Liliana ready to head out the door. As I was getting a glass of water, I noticed his cell phone on the kitchen counter, charging.

Then there was a knock. I figured Noah had left the car running with his keys and therefore couldn’t get in (our door is ALWAYS locked), but when I opened the door, his mom was there. I figured that he’d called her to come get me because he got caught at work, but before I could say two words to Sue, the phone rang. It was Noah. “You’re probably pretty pissed at me, huh?” I had NO idea what he was talking about. My first thought was that it was because he wasn’t coming to the prenatal appointment with me because he got caught up at work (he hasn’t been to one with this baby yet) but I wouldn’t get mad about something like that, so I was confused. I told him that his mom had JUST stepped in the door and I had NO idea what was going on. He said something about insurance being expired (which is impossible, since it’s on continuous and the payment JUST came out for this month) and he was pulled over and our car was being towed to the house.

SO, I went back and talked to Sue, got things figured out as much as possible, and waited for the tow truck. Apparently she wasn’t having a great morning either, so it must be a family thing. Except for my father-in-law who is in Florida today probably sucking back cold beverages under the hot sun. (He’s there on a layover on his way to a speaking engagement in Haiti.) I called Noah at work so I could get the full story on WHAT THE HECK WAS GOING ON, and apparently it was this:

He was turning on to the road that led to his company’s office and a cop was behind him. The cop continued to follow him after the turn, and a couple blocks later turned on the lights. Noah pulled over, confused, as he hadn’t done anything illegal. He was told that his license had expired (whoops!), the cop had the car towed, and Noah was given a ride to work in the back of the cop car. (If you know him, you’ll be laughing as hard as I did at the idea of him sitting in the back of a cop car.) He said it wasn’t comfortable. I DON’T THINK IT’S SUPPOSED TO BE. Apparently the cop was gracious enough to get the car towed to the house instead of the impound lot.

So, I called my nurse practitioner to reschedule my appointment and I called work to tell them that I didn’t know when I’d be in. When I mentioned that Noah had his first ride in the back of a cop car, the Administrative Assistant burst out laughing (she’s been my father-in-law’s AA for over three years, so she obviously knows Noah).

He finally got home at around noon. The car STILL hadn’t shown up. He called the police station and was redirected to three different impound lots before he finally found our car. Apparently that thumping I heard when I was in the shower was the tow truck driver trying to drop off the car. The thing is, I had NO idea that he was coming and I didn’t hear Noah call because of the shower as well. Whereas I first thought that Noah had been driving around since last July with an expired license (I thought it expired in your birthday month – mine does), the ticket says that it expired in 2011. So, within the last seven days. SO LAME.

Sue had picked Noah up from work, gotten his license renewed, and gave him her car. After Liliana’s quiet time, we headed out to get the car, which now cost $20 more because it had been brought to the lot instead of just being dropped off at our house. So, now the car is finally at home, Noah has a valid license, and we have a super-fun ticket sitting on the counter BECAUSE WE NEEDED ANOTHER ONE OF THOSE.

I hate the part where you go over things and think of all the what-ifs.

IF I’d had my shower last night, or if I’d gotten up earlier to make the muffins, I’d have gone with him and I could have driven the car to save the tow truck bill.

IF he’d come to get his cell phone when he remembered he forgot it as he was pulling out of the garage, he could have called to have me come get the car.

IF I’d brought my cell phone into the bathroom with me (I often do during the day because it’s the emergency contact number for K’s school), I would have known to expect the tow truck.

IF I’d had my shower 10 minutes earlier, I would have heard the tow truck driver at the door.

IF none of this had happened and I’d been able to go to my prenatal appointment, I’d be able to find out why I want to die every time I take a step with my left leg and why I nearly pass out if I stand still for more than 2.3 seconds. I’d also have been able to go to work today.

IF that cop hadn’t been so bored, maybe he wouldn’t have gone around searching for people with expired licenses.

Even if all those things happened though, I’m not sure when Noah would have realized that his license had expired. So, maybe it would have happened eventually, we’ll never know. But today, it kind of sucked.

So, after we finally got the car stuff taken care of, Noah went to return his mom’s car to her and go to his physio appointment. He called me from his mom’s office when he was done and said that his phone was broken. As in, broken broken.

ARE YOU DONE WITH US YET, UNIVERSE?

We depend on our phones a lot, and text frequently throughout the day about kid logistics, dinner, who needs the car when, etc. (No, we’re not organized enough to do all that in the morning.) Our cell contract is ending soon, so I’ve been looking into new phones and phone contracts lately anyway because Noah’s phone is super old and has been borking out lately. One cool thing about our particular provider is that we rack up “dollars” with every bill that we can put toward a new phone. I knew this already, but I wasn’t really in a hurry to get a new phone as we still have a couple months our current contract ends.

The girls and I picked Noah up from physio and headed to the mall to see what our options were. After talking with the booth dude, we discovered that we had enough “dollars” to get a FREE iPhone 4 with our contract renewal. SCORE. You can’t get better than free, and after all the expenses that we accrued today, free was the only option we had.

So, now Liliana has a new phone (Noah’s old dead one), Noah has the iPhone he’s been wanting, and I have the higher-than-super-low-quality video that I’ve been wanting. And the best part is that it didn’t cost us a thing (besides patience, as we were at the booth for about half an hour trying to keep track of an independent 3-year-old).

I’ve already started downloading a bunch of free apps. (Have I mentioned how much I like FREE?) Yea, it’s Noah’s phone, but since we’re married it’s half mine, right? *insert evil cackle*

Now all is well in the world. We have our car back, we have a new toy to play with, and it’s the weekend.

ps. Thanks for ALL your help today, Sue! We couldn’t have done it without you.

Filed under: Noah, angry mom, crazyness