January
Noah took his first (and only) ride in the back of a cop car. I was in the throes of antepartum depression and recovering from a major breakdown in December. I was 2/3 of the way through my pregnancy with Preston. It was bitterly cold here in Saskatchewan.

February
I got paranoid and headed to the hospital to make sure “Three” was still alive. (He was/is.) I longed for my horrid pregnancy nightmares to be over. I chaperoned for the first time Kaylie’s school’s Valentine’s Day dance and cursed a certain song that brought back a certain memory that made me leave the dance in tears. It was bitterly cold here in Saskatchewan.

March
Kaylie and I got over 20 inches cut off our hair. It was bitterly cold here in Saskatchewan. Liliana learned a bit about obstetrics much to Noah’s dismay. My estimated due date came and went.

April
Noah changed a tire for the first time. We had a son! We gained a nephew! Liliana turned four!

May
I turned 28. I had my first gallbladder attack (although at that time they told me it was gastroesophageal reflux disease or GERD). Erica and Meg and my parents came to visit and meet Preston. We went pottery painting for the first time. I had my first surgery of the year and had a lot of anxiety about leaving Preston.

June
I wrote a post that made Noah cry. I lost my license for a month. I continued to have gallbladder attacks and was still told that it was just GERD. Preston, Liliana, and I went to Regina with Noah for a work thing. After paying many many dollars to the Saskatchewan government, I got my license back.

July
I took my first ambulance ride, was finally properly diagnosed with gallstones, and was told I’d have to have a cholecystectomy. Kaylie went to camp. I got locked in a parking lot. Cousins from BC came to visit.

We spent the better part of a week at a friend‘s cabin. Tali came to meet Preston. My Opa passed away. Preston, Kaylie, and I made the trip to BC for my Opa’s funeral and I got to see my family. Noah turned 28. Kaylie turned 10.

August
I ate pita chips nearly every day (this month, the month before, and many months after). Kaylie and I started running together. Our van was stolen (and recovered). I dyed my hair black and cut myself bangs. I had my second surgery of the year. We spent a lot of time at the splash park. Kaylie started Grade 5 and Liliana checked out pre-Kindergarten.

September
Liliana officially started pre-Kindergarten. We spent a weekend in Regina and Kaylie ran her second Queen City Marathon Mini 3k Marathon. Preston watched his first football game. The girls started ballet and gymnastics. There were many, many leaves which were great for jumping in.

October
We went to Manitoba for Thanksgiving. Preston turned six months old. The girls started swimming lessons. We dedicated Preston to the Lord in front of our church.

November
My friend Laurie went to be with the Lord. Kaylie, Preston, and I went to Regina for Laurie’s funeral. I wrote a life list. I had my third surgery of the year, finally having my gallbladder removed. I had a total weight loss of 25 lbs during my wait for the aforementioned surgery. Noah and I celebrated our sixth wedding anniversary, our best yet. Preston had surgery to correct a minor birth defect. I got a paid writing gig. Liliana had a rough week. I got a horrid stomach bug.

December
I kind of participated in a Reverb Broads blogging project. We decorated up a storm. Preston pulled the Christmas tree down on himself. We spent Christmas here in Saskatoon. Preston started crawling. I finally got my bedroom clean. Weather-wise, we had the best, most beautiful Saskatchewan December that I can remember.

You were a good one, 2011. I am excited for what 2012 will bring.

three-kid room fail
We live in a three-bedroom house and I’ve been trying to figure out how to make it work when Preston transitions out of our room. So I had this idea. I’d put all three kids in one room – just their beds – and have the other room as a play room with their toys. They were all for it and Kaylie started sleeping in Liliana’s room (Liliana has a bunk bed in her room, Kaylie a loft bed in hers) to see if it was something she wanted to do long-term. On the second night, she decided she wanted to keep their rooms separate. But she’s still sleeping in Liliana’s room. Both girls hate sleeping alone. Whatever.

So the other day she comes and says to me something about being okay with moving her bed into Liliana’s room. I say something about the other room and she says that she’d like to keep it as her own private room. I asked her, “So you get two bedrooms?” Liliana piped up just then, quite heartbroken, “SO I DON’T GET A BEDROOM?!”

It’s not happening. Funny, though, that the 10-year-old thought she could get away with having 1.5 bedrooms, leaving her sister with half a bedroom while Noah, Preston, and I shared the third one. FUNNY GIRL, THAT KAYLIE. I still don’t know where we’re going to put Preston when (IF!) he (EVER!) starts sleeping through the night. Maybe we’ll keep him in the garage.

holiday time
Noah got home from work last Friday just before noon and does not have to go back to work until next Tuesday. That’s a whole 10.5 days off. It’s been wonderful. I’ve had entire days where I have not had to leave the house. I have not had to drive anybody anywhere. I’ve gotten an entire night’s sleep to myself because Noah took Preston and the two of them slept in the living room. (He offered to do this again, but I have to pump a bottle for Preston to have overnight and I really hate pumping.)(I don’t mind too much getting up in the night with Mr. P, but a whole night’s sleep is pretty fantastic.)

baking bonanza
My friend Melissa and her son Kesler came over a couple days before Christmas and we baked up a storm. We made peanut butter marshmallow bars, peanut butter chocolate bars, Toblerone shortbread cookies, and the Pioneer Woman’s cinnamon rolls.

I’m pretty sure I ate an entire pan of cinnamon rolls that night. And one every day after that.

The girls helped out

and the boys hung out and napped and fought over toys.

I’m pretty sure we have to do that again soon.

baby
A friend of mine had a baby yesterday. Today, Kaylie and I went to visit them.

This little guy was half an ounce smaller than my smallest baby. He is tiny and precious and fits in one arm. I don’t think there’s anything I enjoy more than holding a sleeping newborn baby. I’d have a whole bunch of them if they didn’t go and turn into children so quickly.

and then there was Christmas
We spent this Christmas just like we have every Christmas since we moved to Saskatchewan – with my in-laws. You should feel sorry for them, they just can’t get rid of us, even during the holidays. My parents live two provinces away, and since driving on snowy icy roads is completely out of the question and flying is astronomically expensive, we aren’t likely to spend a Christmas in BC for quite some time.

One of my very favorite things during Christmas is the Christmas Eve service. I can’t remember ever missing one. When I was growing up, we attended a church that also had a Christmas Day service. I’ve really missed that since switching to a different church when I was 15, but with Christmas being on a Sunday this year, I got to attend a Christmas Day service again. I think I’m going to find a church that does it every year because I just really love it. We even sang carols from hymnals. It was very old-school and very perfect.

We let the kids open one gift on Christmas Eve, because growing up my family opened all our presents on Christmas Eve and letting my kids open one keeps that tradition alive. Since Christmas traditions matter more to Noah than they do to me, we mostly go with what he wants to do, which is open presents on Christmas morning.

Something Noah likes doing that I didn’t do growing up is stockings. Noah and I exchanged stockings on Christmas Eve after the kids were in bed, and first thing the next morning, Noah walked down the hall with the girls stockings saying, “Ho ho ho” in a monotone voice, just like his dad did when he was growing up. The girls aren’t allowed out of their beds on Christmas morning until Noah comes with their stockings.

After the present opening on Christmas morning, we headed to the Christmas Day service and then spent the rest of the day at the in-laws’. Noah’s sisters stayed in BC, but friends came for Christmas dinner, filling the house and making it feel more Christmas-y. I grew up around so many aunts and uncles and cousins and grandparents that having lots of people around during holidays just feels right. And good. And merry.

I spend the entirety of Boxing Day packing up all the Christmas decorations and rearranging our living room to accommodate our giant new-to-us TV and and new-to-us keyboard. Hand-me-downs are quite wonderful. As is having everything Christmas-y all packed up. Decorations are festive and all, but they’re also cluttery and once Christmas is over, I just want them gone.

my sick-for-just-a-morning snuggly sleeping boy

This week has been full of eating and play dates and Lego-building and cleaning and organizing and shopping and game-playing and movie-watching and just enjoying being together with nowhere to be. I kind of don’t want this week/year/holiday to end.

I didn’t know what year to start with, but I decided to start with 2001. The year Kaylie was born, and she and I became a family.

I cannot find a photo of the two of us around Christmastime in 2002, but I did find this one with my family.

The year 2003 I again could not find a photo of just me and Kaylie, so it’s a big family photo again. This was the last year that all us kids were unmarried.

Christmas 2004 was the first one that Noah and I were together for. I cannot find a photo anywhere of the three of us, I can’t even find one of just me and Kaylie. Apparently I really sucked at getting in photos even back then. So, no photo this year.

Two thousand and five was the year Noah and I got married. Since we had a November wedding, we sent out Christmas cards as thank-you cards and included this shot of the three of us.

In 2006 we did our first Christmas tree hunt. It was a blast and we have really missed that since our move to Saskatchewan. I was about five months pregnant with Liliana.

Liliana was added to our 2007 photo. This was our last Christmas in Terrace.

Oh, our family photo attempt in 2008 did not go so well.

Our Christmas card ended up being a collage with none of the photos holding all four of us. I did get this one of the girls, though, which I really love.

In 2009 things were kind of messy in our house, so there is no family photo to speak of. But, I did find one of my favorite photos of Liliana, and one of Kaylie decorating, both from December of that year. I can’t believe how much the girls have changed in just two years.

We had a little trouble with our 2010 photo. We took photos outside in the fall but I hated all of them. We tried a couple more things and then finally we just set up the tripod and all piled on the couch. I was about five months pregnant with Preston.

And then there were five.

The 2011 photo is, by far, my favorite, for obvious reasons. I was going to send out this photo in our Christmas card, but then Brenda said something on Twitter about designing Christmas cards and I took her up on her offer. She came up with this:

Isn’t it awesome? Most of our Saskatoon friends have already received one of these, but those who require a stamp for me to send them a card will be receiving one in the new year. Because sending out Christmas cards on time is not my thing, apparently.

Also? TWO MORE SLEEPS!

Kaylie and I barely made it home on time, but with 15 minutes to spare, we did make it. She went right to bed, and I got ready for bed and walked into the living room as the clock struck midnight. Noah was there with his egg nog, ready to press play on the first Christmas song of the year. I went to bed, much to his dismay. He’d wanted me to stay up and decorate with him, but midnight was already three hours past my 9pm bedtime and I was exhausted after spending 3.5 hours in the ER with Kaylie.

Over the following days and the weekend, we unpacked all the Christmas boxes and put up most of the decorations. The girls were stoked to decorate their rooms.

The last thing we did was put up the tree. We put up our fake tree, much to Noah’s disgust. We wouldn’t be able to get a real one for another week at least, and he didn’t want to wait that long. The more Christmas for Mr. Christmas the betterer. Noah did most of the other decorating, but left the tree to me and the girls.

Noah’s favorite part is the village. He set it up last year, but likes it better when I do it. I was a grinchy grinch last year, so he did it himself, but this year he said I was in charge of it.

Preston has already rolled/backed himself into the Christmas tree and tried to pull it down on himself.

I’ve been in a bah humbug-type mood about Christmas thus far. Kind of like a what’s the point? about the tree and the decorating and the gifts and the baking. Christmas is a celebration of Jesus’ birth, so what does Santa Claus have to do with it? I’m bringing you down, aren’t I? Sorry about that, I’ve just been in Liliana mode — questioning everything. I try to keep most of it to myself, as Christmas is Noah’s VERY favorite time of year and I don’t want to ruin it for him.

The lights, though, aren’t they pretty?!

Our first Thanksgiving together, Noah and I were living in Caronport, Saskatchewan. We made the trek out to his Grandma’s house in Manitoba for Thanksgiving, my and Kaylie’s first time to the province. I think I remember us getting lost. I’m pretty sure it was Noah’s fault. (Because this is my blog and he’ll need to get his own blog to defend himself.) Seven years later, we’re spending our third? fourth? Thanksgiving here, enjoying Grandma’s amazing kitchen skills.

To maximize our time here, we left the city on Friday at noon. Noah and Kaylie ditched out early from work and school. (Kaylie was not real stoked about this, seeing as school is her very favorite place to be AND SHE MIGHT MISS GYM.) (Or art.) (And that would be HORRIBLE.) The kids traveled quite well, although Preston got a little grouchy toward the end. He’s not a big fan of car trips. It rained incredibly hard for the majority of the trip, which made passing the bazillion trucks we passed quite scary. Apparently I’ve been away from BC so long that I’ve forgotten how to drive both in the rain and on a two-way highway.

Grandma had an amazing spread when we arrived — she had even prepared (fat-free gallstone-friendly) food that I could eat. We never ever go hungry when we are here.

Lexi (a cousin the same age as Kaylie) was waiting here when we arrived, as a surprise for Kaylie. They were inseparable for the next 48 hours, until we dragged Kaylie home from their place Sunday morning to get ready for church. I didn’t even have a chance to get a photo of them together, we saw them so little.

Oh, wait, I lied. I got a blurry one of the three girls.

Liliana was lonely when the older girls took off to Lexi’s house, so we took a little walk to the park. I have to say, I’m quite a big fan of small-town Manitoba. It’s so peaceful and quiet and I feel safe enough to let Kaylie walk a couple blocks with a friend. In the city, I hardly let her walk down the street by herself. (Although, to be fair, little girls Kaylie’s age and younger are … propositioned … by men driving by.) (I’m dead serious.)

Liliana found another little girl at the park and invited the girl to play with her. My kids are so shy.

When the little girl left, Liliana played happily by herself, climbing and sliding, climbing and sliding. I love that she has the ability (and imagination) to play — quite contently — by herself.

We didn’t do as much walking as I would have liked, but it was quite windy. I’ll never get enough of the prairie sky, though.

We headed to a field after church Sunday morning to take a couple photos and Kaylie hadn’t brought her sweater. I let her wear mine until we got there. I’d left my phone in the pocket, not really thinking much of it. A couple hours after we got home, I was looking for it and was instantly filled with dread when it was not where I’d left it. Noah and the girls were at the park and Preston was napping, so I sent a couple tweets to Noah, since they go to his phone like text messages, and he and the girls retraced our earlier steps and found my phone in a ditch. PHEW.

I set up Find my iPhone on both our phones immediately.

I’m thinking about ordering all five of us matching track suits. What do you think?

Noah and Preston watched sports while Grandma cooked up a delicious turkey dinner. I was wondering how I was going to get through a turkey dinner without gravy (there was gravy, I just couldnt have it), but I did and it was still delicious. I’ve developed a fondness for turnips. I’d never had turnips until I had thanksgiving dinner with the inlaws before they were the inlaws (before I’d even met Noah) and I liked them instantly. Now, they’re a favorite.

After dinner, Preston hung out with Aunt Liz

and Liliana snuggled up to Uncle Bob.

She was so tired, she sat there almost completely still, besides when she was asking Uncle Bob why he didn’t ride his horse to Grandma’s house and where was his horse and could she ride it? When Uncle Bob left, he told the girls they could go riding this morning. But, we woke up to rain this morning and the ride was canceled. I’m sure they’ll get other opportunities.

Now, I’m off to attempt to beat Grandma and Noah in a game of Scrabble, a not-easy feat I’ve achieved twice this weekend. Wish me luck. Oh, and Happy (Canadian) Thanksgiving!

6:30am wake-up call
Feed Preston
Wake Noah
Make muffins
Have shower
Drive Noah to work
Go back home
Get kids ready for the day
Feed Preston
Drive Kaylie to school
Sign Kaylie up for gymnastics
Drop Noah’s phone off with him
Go back home
Try twice to print forms I need
Fail twice
Feed Preston
Pick up Noah for meeting
Drop younger kids with inlaws
Go to meeting
Pick up younger kids
Drop Noah back off at work
Get gas
Pick Kaylie up from school
Feed Preston
Get a couple groceries
Pick up Noah
Get McD’s drive-thru
Go home for 1/2 hour
Feed Preston
Pick up Kaylie’s friend
Drop Noah, Kaylie, and K’s friend at the church for kids’ club
Sign Liliana up for ballet
HAVE LILIANA YELL AND SCREAM AT ME BECAUSE I WON’T LET HER RUN INTO THE OTHER PEOPLE IN THE MILE-LONG BALLET SIGN-UP LINE AND WHY CAN’T SHE DANCE AND WHY ARE WE JUST SIGNING HER UP BECAUSE SHE WANTS TO DANCE NOW AND WHY WON’T I LET HER PLAY WITH HER FRIEND BECAUSE SHE WANTS TO RUN AND DANCE AND RUN INTO PEOPLE AND I WON’T LET HER DO ANYTHING AND ALL THIS WHILE THE LADY WITH NO TEETH IS TRYING TO TELL ME ABOUT HER TWO-WEEK VACATION SHE IS ABOUT TO GO ON UP NORTH IN AN FOUR-SEATER AIRPLANE AND DID I KNOW THAT HER DAUGHTER HAS NEVER BEEN ON AN AIRPLANE BEFORE AND THAT HER DAUGHTER WAS GOING TO MISS THE FIRST BALLET CLASS AND LILIANA IS STILL SCREAMING AND YELLING AND ALL WITH THE SCREAMING AND YELLING MAKE IT STOP!
Feed Preston
Pick up the trifecta of church people
Drop Kaylie’s friend off
Stop at Safeway to get saline
Go home
Get the kids a bedtime snack
Feed Preston
9:15pm all the kids go to bed
11:00pm my brain finally starts to unwind from the day

Fall, you hit hard and fast, don’t you?

Also in the middle of her pink eye, I had a couple super-fun attacks. Morphine, FTW! I’m having an ERCP on Friday, and hopefully I’ll finally have my cholecystectomy very shortly after that. (I don’t know why it has to be done in two procedures, I just want it OVER WITH.)

In other, more fun news, I (finally) edited photos from the last month – our lake trip and our BC trip. I know, right? IT’S ABOUT TIME. (SORRY FOR THE ALL CAPS.) (IT’S JUST BEEN THAT KIND OF WEEK MONTH.)

The week before we went to BC, my friend Lisa invited a bunch of us out to her cabin for a couple nights. The drive out there was under two hours, a perfect distance for my three goobers.

Before we left, I laid out the ground rules for the trip, one of them being that the girls had to be kind to each other in the car. Liliana replied, “Aren’t we taking the van?”

On our second beach day, Lisa brought the boat out on the water and the girls got to go tubing for the first time. I wasn’t sure how Liliana, the girl who is terrified of running bath water, would handle it. She LOVED it. Tubing with my girls was probably the most fun I’ve ever had with them. Seeing so much joy on their faces totally made my week. As we were flying across the water, Liliana says to me, “Remember that Barbie song, Mama? Queen of the Waves?”

It was a full, loud, incredibly fun couple days. Liliana loves the lake so much. She could play in the sand for hours and hours and hours.

We ate, we played in the sand, we swam in the lake, we played lots of games, and we watched movies late into the night.

We left after lunch on Thursday, as Noah’s sister Talitha was flying in that night and we were really looking forward to seeing her and introducing her to Preston.

But, then my dad called with the news about my Opa and I wanted to get to BC as soon as I could. Noah and I worked out all sorts of scenarios, changed our minds a couple times, and finally Kaylie, Preston, and I took off about 48 hours later.

Our first stop was Alberta, to visit friends we hadn’t seen in about eight years.

Carmen and Bobbie have a daughter Kaylie’s age, and both girls were stoked to play with each other. Most of the friends of C & B and Noah & I have little kids, so Kaylie and Zoe were excited to have someone their own age to hang out with.

Kaylie’s biological dad lives in the same city, so she got to hang out with him as well. He took both girls to a movie and to see Kaylie’s cousin she hadn’t seen in a couple years.

Before the movie, Kaylie and Zoe raced down the slip ‘n slide and had a water fight. It was so, so hot, the cold water was the perfect cure.

I’ve had a lot of women take an instant liking to my baby, but it’s rare to have a guy do it. Carmen snatched up Preston and my arms welcomed the break.

The last time K & Z saw each other, it was 2003 and they were this big:

They’ve grown a bit since then:

Our first day of traveling was a mere six or so hours. The next day, we went all the way to my Opa’s house – a 16-hour trek. I’m an efficient traveler, but we had to stop every two or so hours to feed Preston or get gas or to stop for Kaylie to use the washroom EVEN THOUGH SHE JUST WENT.

My family is huge. Both my parents come from Dutch families of eight. It may look like there are a lot of people in the above shot, but we were still missing at least 10 family members. It was great to see everyone again, even if it was under less-than-ideal circumstances.

On the Tuesday morning, we went up to the cemetery to lay my Opa to rest. Everything was done by the family, with no funeral home involved at all. I’d never seen it done like that before, but it was peaceful and intimate.

I don’t do well with grief or people grieving around me. I guess I don’t know anyone who does do well with it, but it makes me incredibly uncomfortable. I don’t know what to do, how to act, or how to react. I was glad I had Preston with me so I at least had something to focus on. We laid our names in Scrabble tiles on my Opa’s casket before it was lowered into the ground.

I hated driving away. I didn’t like the idea of leaving him there, all by himself. I had to keep reminding myself that he wasn’t there anymore, and that he was in a place so much better than this earth – singing bass in the heavenly choir, cancer-free.

The comic relief was when someone would say something about Tom & Jerry (Opa’s friend and Opa’s nephew) and they’d have to switch to saying Jerry and Tom.

We went down to the cafe for lunch and then across the street to the church for my Opa’s memorial service. It was packed. He’d lived more than 50 years in a small town and he was loved by everyone. There was standing room only. As I stood there, singing hymns and listening to the voices around me, I’d forgotten what a church full of people singing hymns with all their strength sounded like. It was incredibly beautiful and powerful.

I was surprised to see some Terrace people there, who had come to support my mom. It was comforting to see familiar faces, though, in a crowd of people I didn’t know (besides my family members).

My uncle and cousin from my dad’s side came as well.

The cousins spent a lot of time playing Opa games – games he’d taught us and played with us.

And, of course, we (they, not I) played soccer.

We had a bonfire both nights we were there.

What’s that you got there, Erica? The biggest, most gigantic bottle of super-sweet juice-tasting wine I ever did see/taste?

We spent the day after the memorial cleaning out everything from Opa’s house, choosing what we wanted and giving the rest away. It was weird and unsettling. I felt like a greedy vulture. I justified it by telling myself that (a) Opa wasn’t going to need any of his stuff anymore, (b) he didn’t want anything thrown out, and (c) nobody else wanted the things I took home. I’d be perfectly happy if I never had to do anything like that ever again.

When we were done all that needed to be done, I followed my dad to Terrace and stayed there a couple nights.

I was feeling very anti-social and went there primarily to see my grandma.

I also got to see Ann

and Tamara, though,

and Kaylie got to see her friends Kendra (we forgot to take a photo with her),

Michaela,

and Kessa.

I also randomly ran into Debbie and got to chat with her for 2.3 seconds. I wish I’d had more time (and will) to visit with more friends there, but I just didn’t. As soon as the memorial service was over, I just wanted to go home, but I knew I’d regret not making the extra 4-hour round trip to see my Grandma, and I’m so glad I got to see her. She’s an amazing lady and I wish I lived closer to her so I could visit her more often.

I decided to break up the trip home into three instead of two. That 16-hour day was much too long, and I figured that three 8-ish-hour days were much better. I wanted to make the trip as fun for Kaylie as I could, so we spent the first night in a hotel so that she could play in the pool(s).

To make it as cheap as possible, we got a room with just one queen sized bed. It was … squishy. Kaylie had a lot of fun, though, and inserted herself into a game of piggy in the middle as soon as she got into the pool. Introverted my kids are not.

The next morning we had breakfast with our friends Rob, Jodi, Reece, and Morgan. Kaylie and Reece are only weeks apart in age and Jodi babysat Kaylie for the first couple years of her life. She was the most incredible caregiver I could have imagined. It was so good to catch up with them.

We traveled to Edmonton that day and stayed with my Aunt Daisy and Uncle Roy. We had dinner with them and Aunt Yvonne and my cousins Brett and Darcy, Kaylie played a bunch of Wii, and we had grilled cheese and mango for breakfast.

We finally came to the day we were to go home, but before we left, we hung out and had lunch with my friend Jackie. We hadn’t seen each other since before her oldest (7-year-old) son was born.

Apparently I did a lot of catching up with people on this trip. It was nice to have a lot of fun on a trip that also contained a lot of sorrow.

I’d wanted to quickly hit up Ikea, but Kaylie desperately wanted to go on some rides at West Edmonton Mall, so I caved and let her fit as many rides into two hours as she could.

The Edmonton –> Saskatoon trek was the hardest of the entire trip. We stopped at least every hour to feed or soothe Preston. He cried so much, Kaylie and I were so stressed. But, I wanted to get home before it was dark, so we had to just let him cry sometimes, doing our best to soothe him. We got home just as the sun went down. Noah had cleaned the entire house while we’d been gone. It looked incredible … until I unpacked the van and turned it into a disaster.

In all, we traveled about 4,000k (I forgot to reset the odometer until we were half an hour outside the city). It was a bittersweet trip, but I’m glad we took it because I would have really regretted not going. I couldn’t have not gone.

So, that was July.
Good and bad and ugly and beautiful.

We took a bunch of family photos before heading up to the cemetery and it was a lot of fun. It feels weird to type the word “fun” in the same sentence as the word “cemetery”, but fun it was and I guess it was good to have some joy before heading out to do something that brought us all to tears and shaking grief.

me, Nick, Brandon, Erica

The last time all us siblings were together was two whole years ago at Brandon and Roxanne’s wedding. I miss them. Have I mentioned before that I am the oldest and the shortest?

(I had to crop the above photo because of my ginormous post-baby belly that has been sticking around and did I mention that the lady who rear-ended me yesterday outside Wal*mart thought I was pregnant? THAT WAS FUN.)

We took a couple photos with Kaylie, Preston, and Roxanne in them, but since we were still missing six people, I wasn’t too into those ones. I have this slight OCD or Type A or whatever thing about incomplete things.

Next summer? We all invade Nick and Teresa’s place in Summerland for a big shindig, yes?

My Opa, my mom’s dad, passed away on Thursday after a well-fought battle with cancer. He was a great man, the best grandfather I could ever imagine. My favorite childhood memories are of time spent with him. He always had time for us.

mid-eighties

He took us toobalooping, fishing, and he played soccer in his back yard every Friday night with the neighborhood kids.

mid-eighties

I vaguely remember a song we made up about toobalooping to the tune of The Beatles’ Yellow Submarine.

May 2008

He taught me how to play pool on the pool table in his basement. I learned to play Hearts at his kitchen table. He was hard to beat at Foosball.

May 2007

He taught me how to wait tables and how to pump gas. Some of my favorite times were spent “working” with him. I made $30 in tips one summer and it was like I’d won the lottery.

May 2007

He ate raw eggs on his mashed potatoes, made the best pancakes, and put loads of salt on everything. I always liked visiting him on Saturdays, because it meant Brown Bean Soup day at the cafe.

August 2007

He gave greasy cheek-kisses. He always had King peppermints in his pocket and gave them to us at church.

March 2010

His house is full of photos of his children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren, and friends. He had a huge garden and was so generous to me with his produce.

April 2008

He loved puzzles. When I was a kid, he would draw out word or picture puzzles/riddles for me on the place mats at the cafe. He could solve a Rubix cube in minutes. He had all sorts of figure-it-out-type puzzles at his house, some of them I could solve, some of them I would spend hours only attempting.

May 2008

He loved Scrabble. He liked to play quickly and I could never keep up. He was so patient, though.

May 2008

He sent me a birthday card every single year. He never had a problem telling us how much he loved us and how special we were to him. He bought us KFC every time he came to visit.

May 2008

He had one of those spirits that never got old. The last Telkwa Barbeque I was at, about five years ago, he was helping “the seniors” make pancakes. He was 75.

June 2009

He loved the Holland soccer team and had a huge orange Hup Holland flag in his entrance way.

June 2009

I don’t remember a Grandparents Day at school that he did not attend. While the other grandparents were dressed in old people clothes, he was in a polo shirt, cargo pants, and runners. Everyone knew who he was and I was always proud that he was my Opa.

June 2009

He loved to sing and I loved to listen to him sing. Teresa texted me last night to tell me that his answering machine had him singing the message so I called it a couple times and then voice-recorded it.

August 2009

He took a trip out here for Kaylie’s spring break when we lived in Regina. It was so fun showing him around and taking him to all the places he wanted to see.

March 2009

He said that, after the BC Lions, the Saskatchewan Roughriders were his favorite CFL team, so we took him to Taylor Field.

March 2009

It was so fun to have him, and the girls absolutely loved spending time with him. While he was there, Liliana would let only him take her out of her car seat.

When I learned he was sick, I took the girls out to Telkwa for a visit.

March 2010

It was strange to see him unwell, as he’d always been so independent, outgoing, and active.

March 2010

When I got the call from my dad, I waited until the next morning to tell Kaylie about Opa’s death because I wanted her to be able to have the day to process it instead of crying herself to sleep right away. She pulled out and read a letter he’d written her a couple months ago, in response to the Christmas card/letter she’d sent him. I left her alone in her room to process things and she came out a half hour later with some words that she’d like to say at his memorial.

Kaylie, Preston, and I are leaving tomorrow morning for the 20-hour drive. After thinking through all the possible scenarios, Noah and I decided that Liliana would stay here with him, as she does not like traveling and it would be stressful to keep her quiet at a memorial that she does not understand. Noah’s still in the probation period of his job and it would just not be wise to take a whole week off already.

As much as I’m looking forward to seeing my family in a couple days, I’m not looking forward to saying goodbye to someone who had such a tremendous impact on my life. I don’t like thinking about stepping into his house without his voice to say hello to. It’s such a surreal thing to think about.

Rest in peace, Opa. We love you and we miss you.

I feel like I’m getting a lot of sleep (because he sleeps 12 hours, waking briefly to eat once or twice), but then I have incidents like this:

I can’t make this stuff up.

So. My parents’ visit, the last of the trifecta of baby visitors. They arrived here just after noon on Saturday, the 21st of May. The big beautiful blue Saskatchewan sky was out to meet them. We took them home, ate some lunch, and went out to do their (and Kaylie’s) favorite thing: geocaching.

My mom brought two trackable tags with her and each of the girls chose an item that they wanted to attach the tag to and then plant in a cache. (I’m just learning all these terms and such, so I’ll try to link to them the best I can, should you be interested.)

My mom was prepared with a map of the caches around our house, but then she did something better – bought us the iPhone app.

We set out and found four caches.

Big ones and teeny weeny ones. Kaylie is quite the expert cache-seeker.

We did our best to try and find all the caches within one-kilometre radius of our house and I think we found all but one.

The only one we didn’t find was the one that we also didn’t find when Brandon and Roxanne were here last fall. I think that cache is missing. (So we don’t have to feel so bad for not finding it.)

We’d headed out without Noah, as he had a lawn to mow, but on the way to our last cache, we walked by the house and he creepily came up behind us and tried to scare the tar out of me. He failed. HA!

(Hi Mom!)

Spring showed up in the form of blossoms only a few days before their visit. I cannot even tell you how happy I am to see spring. I don’t even want to mention that summer is scheduled to arrive in 19 days, because, well, winter is the only season here that takes up it’s full “scheduled” time. (And then some.)

I tried to give my parents as much Preston time as possible. He’s a bit of a mama’s boy (just like his dad) (not in a bad way, just in a great-love-of-his-mother kind of way) (what mom wouldn’t want that?) so he was a bit grouchy with them, but they did get some great happy talking time as well.

Kaylie and Liliana loved all the one-on-one time that they got to have with their grandparents. Their baby brother takes up a lot of their parents’ time and attention – so that’s what grandparents are for.

On Sunday we headed to the mall after church for my parents to treat us to lunch and the girls to Build-a-Bear.

I thought it would take the girls a bazillion hours to pick out their bears, but they decided pretty quickly.

I’m of the belief that Build-a-Bear employees like their job more than anyone I’ve ever met. It’s kind of weird. I’m sure most kids like it, but mine are just like, Hey! Stuff my bear! Precious little darlings.

Noah and my dad stuck around for a little bit before heading out to hang out on a bench. Shortly after, Preston was hungry and I sought out somewhere to nurse him. I ended up finding a “family bathroom” with a rocking chair. Perfect! I love that mall.

My parents’ visit fell on the May Long Weekend, which meant that we all got to be home with them for three days instead of two. Noah quite likes to have a good breakfast on holiday mornings because that’s what he did growing up. I like this tradition because, well, who doesn’t like cinnamon buns and bacon and other breakfasty goodness?

photo taken by Noah

Saturday and Sunday had been beautiful and warm, but Monday was rainy and only 4 degrees Celsius. Cold is what I’m saying.

photo taken by Noah

But, being the crazy people we are, we went geocaching anyway.

photo taken by Noah

Kaylie wanted to show my parents her school, so we searched for caches around there.

photo taken by Noah

photo taken by Noah

Kaylie continued to wow us with her super cache-finding abilities.

photo taken by Noah

Noah was carrying the camera (as I was carrying his baby) (on the outside) (in a wrap) and he actually took some photos. This is noteworthy because he rarely takes photos unless I bribe him.

photo taken by Noah

We weren’t out very long before we had to go back home to warm up. Four degrees (plus wind) is not very warm.

But that’s what babies are for, right? He’s like a little heating pad.

Kaylie had Wednesday off because of the teacher strike, so she was able to be around when we brought Grannie and Pappa to the airport. It was a sad goodbye, but we were glad to have the time that we did with them.

Kaylie keeps asking us why we can’t visit Terrace (where my parents live) or move back to Terrace because she misses my parents quite a bit. Hopefully we can make a trip out there next summer.

Thanks for the visit, Mom and Dad. Hopefully we’ll see you again soon.