Hey, Mrs. Wilson!

I hate Sunday mornings.

There’s the baths and hair washing; the finding acceptable church clothes for the kids; the trying to find something remotely acceptable for me that fits; the trying to find something to do with my hair (I hate doing my hair, but I don’t want to shave it off, so I deal with it) while Noah feeds the kids breakfast; the remembering to feed myself breakfast; the trying to get out the door with at least five minutes to spare so that we can be on time for church for once.  Then there’s the remembering that I forgot to brush my teeth as we’re half way to church and getting some gum from Noah.  All the hurrying.  I hate hurrying.  I also hate getting up early, so the hurrying is my own fault, but still.

When we get to church, there’s the coat shedding, the finding a seat, the getting the kids settled, the bringing Liliana to the nursery when she’s had enough of the singing, the sending Kaylie to Caraway Street (Sunday school) when the appropriate time comes.  I often miss most of the singing due to the above plus the getting two and a half cups of coffee due to the forgetting to eat breakfast and trying to fill my hunger with something.

And then there’s the sermon.  The part that makes it all worth it.

Right now our pastor is speaking through Ecclesiastes. Today he spoke from Ecclesiastes 8:2-17. Ecclesiastes is written by King Solomon (or by someone speaking as King Solomon) and the general gist of the book is putting into perspective everything under the sun (on earth).

Our pastor spoke of what God wants us to hear through the passage: that no one, not one of us, has God’s power (v. 7-8).  Solomon goes on to write of the injustices under the sun.  When wicked men are honored at their burial, when others take courage in wickedness, when the wicked live long lives, and when justice is backwards (v. 10-14).

Solomon writes that we have to trust that God will set things right.  It may look as if the wicked are getting away with their wickedness while they’re on earth, but it will not be so when the leave this earth (v. 12-14).  He commands us to enjoy our life; to trust God to provide justice, and to accept that we will never comprehend all that happens under the sun (v. 15-17).

At the end of the sermon, our pastor showed us a picture of some graffiti that was found on a door of the church a while ago.  It was not your normal graffiti.  He said that he had a hard time deciding whether to show us or not, but then decided that it fit.  The graffiti said, “Where was Jesus when my mommy was raped?”  The picture pierced me heart.

That’s tough.  Really tough.  Where was God when that happened?  He was there.  He will deal with that wickedness on the day of judgment.  Is that hard to comprehend?  Oh my word yes.  But, God does not report to us.  We are on earth and He is in heaven. What right do we, the created, have to judge God, the Creator?

There is good news.  God will resolve our hurt if we come to Him in brokenness. He will comfort us.

Ever heard the hymn It Is Well With My Soul? It was written by a man named Horatio Spafford whose four young daughters were lost at sea on their way from New York to France.  His wife miraculously survived and was rescued by sailors.  On his way to meet up with his wife, Spafford’s ship sailed over the place where his children perished.  It was in that place that he penned the hymn. 

When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to say,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

I usually find myself skipping out of church.  I always feel uplifted by what I’ve been taught and by what has challenged me.  Even if the passage preached about was a heavy one, I always find comfort in the fact that God is in control, not me.  God is responsible for bringing justice to those who have brought hurt, not me.

I love Sunday mornings.

Did I get your attention now? Good.

I’ve been dealing with some medical issues and therefore have been on medication. Most recently? A UTI. Fun.

Another fun part, is that those wonderful sleeping pills I told you about started doing some not so nice things to me, including giving me tremors that started last night at about 6:00. I finally went to the doctor after I could hardly keep notes at the Bible study group I went to this morning. My notes looked like they’d been written by an elementary-age kid.

So, Liliana and I drove Noah to work, left the van there because he gets free (FREE!) parking, and walked the 10-minute walk to the clinic (with a quick stop at 7-11 to get popcorn twists for Liliana and water for me). The good news is that the tremors are starting to subside. The bad news is that I have to stop taking the sleeping pills and instead have to take Lorazepam until the tremors and the other wonderful sleeping pill side effects disappear. Goody.

We left the clinic and walked into the drug store. I dropped off the prescription and we headed out to door to the lab across the street for my blood donation test.

As we were about to exit the door, the security guard came up to me and asked me if I had a receipt for the aforementioned water and popcorn twists. I’d just stuffed them in them into the mesh bag of the stroller, not thinking that I’d be in a store that also sold water and popcorn twists. I told him that I did not have a receipt but got them across the street. As I’m talking, I hear how I sound and I sound like I’m lying. Probably a likely story that he hears a lot from real shoplifters. Luckily, he believed me and sent us on our way with a sucker. No, not for me, for Liliana. And it was sugarless, don’t worry. The sucker was actually a punishment for me since Lili ended up with sticky hands, a sticky face, a sticky shirt, sticky pants (which were already her second pair of the day), and a sticky stroller. Sticky.

I bought a little pack of wipes from that same drug store. And kept the receipt.

Finally at the blood taking place, I sat down to have my blood sucked out. I informed the lady that I was experiencing tremors, so she might want to hold my arm down. That’s when the nurse looked at me and said “Were you doing something you weren’t supposed to?”

Yea, I’m thinking. I’m totally and completely high and I’m here with my kid to get my blood tested. Sheesh. “No.” I told her. “Just a doctor-prescribed sleeping pill that’s messing me up.” Srsly.

We’re home now, and the tremors are at a dull roar. They’re still there, but I can actually function like a normal person. I’m just a little off due to the Lorazepam.

Why do I take a break from my blogging break to tell you this? Because I’ve had a rough couple days and I like to find the humor in difficult circumstances. It’s just what I do.

Also, I want you to know that my God was with me today. The usually packed clinic had only one seat filled. The exact doctor I needed to see was doing her turn seeing drop-ins. She had an opening for a drop-in at the exact moment I got there. The security guard believed my story.

Psalm 23

The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want.

He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,
he restores my soul.
He guides me in paths of righteousness
for his name’s sake.

Even though I walk
through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.

You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.

Surely goodness and love will follow me
all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever.

God is good. He has a great sense of humor. He is always with me. Always.

The good:
I got to visit with some dear friends today.  I hadn’t seen them in a while and it was so wonderful to see them and visit with them for a couple hours.  Totally made my day.  (So did this.)

The bad:
I had another no-show today.  But that’s okay.  God is in control, He is taking care of us.  He will provide the children I need to make this childcare thing work.  I have complete faith in Him.

The ugly:
Have you seen my bedroom?  It’s still full of unpacked boxes.  It’s yucky.  And Liliana choked me a couple times tonight.  My neck/throat hurts.  I’m kind of a whiner.  The kid is strong.  Strong willed and when she wants to get away, she will choke you.

ps. It’s 9:26 pm and I’m in bed.  I’m tired.  And grouchy.  It’s better for the world (aka Noah) that I am sleeping.  Not whining.

Okay, so I know that blogging about work is kind of a blogger faux pas, but this is my blog, and I want to write about it. So there.

As I drove to work this morning, on my first day, I started to think of how my job was going to affect my family when school starts. The hours I work are 7 am to 3:30 pm, which means that I will not be there in the mornings for the kids. What? I’m ALWAYS there in the morning! I almost started bawling at the thought that I would not be able to do Kaylie’s hair for school or make sure that her outfit matches. I’m going to have to teach Noah how to braid.

I had an absolutely BORING morning. I sat literally for an hour while they tried to get a computer up for me to do orientation on. Woot. The orientation took an hour, and then I followed someone around for another hour because the morning manager had no idea what I was supposed to be doing. When the person I was shadowing went to ask a manager a question, I sat in the break room for, no kidding, a whole ENTIRE hour. I read the back of a computer building magazine twenty thousand times. And the vending machines. And the customer service signs on the walls. And the expired ads on the bulletin board.

Finally a different manager came out and sent me for lunch, as he probably took pity on me. I picked up bus passes for Noah and me (it’s hard to have TWO jobs and only have ONE vehicle in the city!) and dropped off the application for Kaylie’s school. I then went home to grab something cold (it’s a freakin’ SAUNA here!) and to see my family for five minutes. I left with about 20 minutes left on my lunch break and it was a 10 minute drive. Or so I thought. The power was out in the city (which happened a minute into my drive) and EVERY SINGLE STOP LIGHT was out! That is NOT good. I had to go through 10 or so intersections and they ALL had bazillions of cars in line.  It’s like going through ten 4-way stops during rush hour.

In one of the lines, before I was due back, I called Adam, the agent at the temp agency that found me the job. They are my employers, not the workplace people. Anyway, I told Adam the problem (STUCK! IN TRAFFIC A MILE LONG WITH NO END IN SIGHT!) and he said it was no problem and that he’d call the job site for me. When I finally got there, I was 10 minutes late. Pretty good for a first day, right? I think from now on I won’t leave unless I have to. But today, I had to.

The afternoon was much better, and I actually got trained.  I have to say that I think I’m going to enjoy the job very much.

God gave me peace on my drive home. I can pick out Kaylie’s outfit with her in the evening, and there are some things I can do with her hair that will last the night. I also got her a couple head bands to solve the FRIZZ problem that she has. I don’t like frizz. I’ve had it all my life (and finally learned to control it, somewhat) and I hate it. If I teach Noah to do a ponytail, all she has to do is put the headband on and she’s set.

On the drive home I also realized how blessed I was at my previous job. I knew I was already, but now I REALLY know.  I got to drop Kaylie off at school every day, got to pick her up every day, and got to go to any special school event if it was during the day.  They were very flexible with me, as I was with them.  It was probably the best work environment I’ll ever have.

As I was making Chicken Pot Pie for dinner, my children were hungry. They’re ALWAYS hungry WHILE I’m making dinner. Makes sense. I found the perfect thing to keep Kaylie quiet and Liliana occupied for hours a couple minutes so I could finish up. Frozen peas. They are God’s gift to moms. I think Liliana ate about a cup of them. That’s not an overdose, right?

Also in Liliana news, she’s saying new words. She’s been doing the “mama” and “dada” thing for a while now, but now she calls me “momom”. She’s been saying “uh oh” for a while, and now she’s saying “ba” (ball), “kee” (keys), “bobow” (bottle), and “nononono”. She waves when saying goodbye, and she puts her hands in the “I don’t know” position for saying “all done”. Occasionally, she signs “please”. Also, we might soon be in the market for a potty. Noah read recently on Chelsey’s Facebook profile that Maya had gone pee on the potty (or something to that effect - way to go Maya!!). He said that if other babies Liliana’s age are peeing on the potty, then so should she. I told him that if he wanted to potty train her, he can go right ahead. I’m alright waiting. Potty training is WORK. Maybe at Christmas …

I was going to be nice to you and show you a schwak of pictures for being so patient as to listen to my ramblings, but I have to be up at FIVE O’CLOCK IN THE MORNING to catch the bus tomorrow, so you’ll have to wait until tomorrow’s post.  Sorry.  If you’re up at 5 am, you can think of me having a cold shower to wake myself from my slumber five hours earlier than I usually get up.

Today is Father’s Day. (duh!) Today can be a day of great joy or a day of great sorrow.

For me, it’s a day of great joy. I have a great dad I wouldn’t trade for any other. I also have an amazing husband who is a great dad to our children. I have been blessed by these two men. I got to see my dad at church today, and he sat with my two girls while I played in the worship band. Noah had to work until 3 pm today, but after that I got to enjoy watching him with the girls. Watching the three of them together warms my heart.

When I was younger, I had no idea that people tried or didn’t try to have children, or that some people could and some people couldn’t have them. I was especially naive to the not being able to have them when I became pregnant at 17.

I have friends who want children, try to have them, and have an easy time. They actually have a hard time not getting pregnant. I also have friends that desperately want children, but it’s just not working. Yet.

I’ve often pondered this ability/inability to have children. There are drug-addicted young girls who leave their babies in dumpsters because they do not want them. There are dumb teenage girls who accidentally (purposeful action, not purposeful result) get pregnant (HI!) and stumble through their baby’s first years while they’re still trying to grow up themselves. There are godly women who just want to have a family, but a small physical ailment prevents that from happening.

Because of some of the previous examples, I have a friend who couldn’t have children but had the opportunity to adopt the baby of a drug-addicted mother. Miraculously, the baby is completely healthy (and gorgeous). That was totally God’s doing. I also have a friend who got pregnant as a young teenager and lovingly gave her baby up for adoption so that he could be raised by two parents who could give him the stable home that my friend couldn’t at the time. She’s now married and has totally beautiful children of her own. That’s also totally God’s doing.

I’m the Administrative Assistant at my church. One of my duties this week was to find a short Father’s Day video to play during today’s service. The task was both a blessing and a curse. As I was searching through the videos on SermonSpice.com, I came across this video. It totally fit with where my heart is at. It speaks of the fathers, the fatherless, and the childless.

As I was growing up, I also was not aware of the fact that some children do not have fathers. I grew up in a small Christian private school. I had a father, and all my friends had fathers. I was oblivious to the fact that fathers were absent from their children’s lives, had left, or had passed away. Today I am much more aware of that fact.

My daughter is growing up without her biological father. Fortunately for her, I married an amazing man who has completely filled this role in her life. The only thing that separates Noah and Kaylie is genetics; otherwise, you’d never be able to tell. She’s not missing out on anything. Two of her best friends are growing up without their fathers because they’ve passed away. Fortunately for them, they have a Heavenly Father watching over them as they grow up. He will never leave them nor forsake them.

“A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling.” Psalm 68:5

How was your Father’s Day?

I posted over here.

I’ve written a couple times about Nathan, Tricia, and Gwyneth Rose Lawrenson. This morning, Nathan had the opportunity to share his family’s journey in their home church where Nathan is the worship pastor. The service was recorded and the video is here. (The testimony starts at about 27:00, and Nathan leads the worship for the first part of the video.)

Their story is one of amazing trust in God. In early January, Tricia and Gwyneth were each given a 50% or less chance of surviving. Tricia has CF and needed a double lung transplant, and tiny Gwyneth Rose was born at 24 week and 5 days gestation.  Now, both are back home doing better than their doctors ever though possible. They’ve still got a ways to go, but their faith in God will get them through it.

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him.” ~Romans 8:28

For more on the Lawrensons, check out Nathan’s blog, Confessions of a CF husband, or Tricia’s blog, 65Roses4Pattysue.

I wrote a little while ago about Nathan, Tricia, and little baby Gwyneth at the end of this post. I check their blog daily, as there’s always a couple updates every day, and today I found this post.

They’ve gotten a lot of attention from media, which is exactly what they want. They want to raise awareness for Cystic Fibrosis, organ donation, and premature birth. They’re doing an amazing job.

The other day, they had a photo shoot with an amazing photographer and the photos are absolutely breathtaking.

Take a look. And go check out Nathan’s blog. Their story is one of an amazing God who has so obviously been right there with them every step of the way through Gwyneth’s birth at 24 weeks and Tricia’s double lung transplant.

The doctors said that the odds were quite low that Gwyneth and Tricia would survive. Now? They are both thriving. Their story shows that with God, ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE!

I know you’re being held in suspense about my amazing day, so here goes. I’ve been waiting on some pictures before I posted, but they haven’t arrived yet so I’ll just post anyway.

Sunday was Mother’s Day. That was amazing in itself, but Mother’s Day also holds a different wonderful significance for me. Last Mother’s Day, Noah and I dedicated our children to the Lord (pictures). We made a commitment before God and the congregation of our church to lead, not force, our children to a relationship with Jesus Christ.

This Mother’s Day? I was baptized.

What is baptism? “The process of baptism is very simple. You begin by standing, sitting, or kneeling in some water. Another Christian then lowers you under the water and then brings you back up out of the water. You could also literally call this “immersion.”” (Source: you can read more about baptism here.)

Why would someone get baptized? To publicly declare that they’ve accepted Christ as their Savior, they’ve repented of their sins, and that they’ve asked for forgiveness. It’s an act of obedience to God. The Bible says, “Repent and be baptized, every one of you, in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins.” (Acts 2:38)

I was baptized in obedience to God. It’s something that I’ve been putting off for a while (I’m naturally rebellious) and it was laid on my heart to do it now. I was baptized by my boss/coworker/friend, so it was extra special to me because he’s been a great spiritual influence on me. He and my father-in-law poured into my life a lot while I worked with/for them.

So there you have it, that’s why my day was so wonderful.

It was actually just a great wonderful weekend with my birthday, Mother’s Day, and my baptism all in one weekend.

God is good. His love endures forever.

And, if you’re interested, you can read my testimony here.

Stress. Emotions. The feeling of failure.

These things consume me when I am in over my head. These things have consumed me the last couple days. Since the company Noah works for doesn’t really give a rip that he has a family, they make him work 10-7 five days a week. That shift sucks. Since he was at work when most of the events of the last week (ish) were going on, I was carrying the burden myself. I had many near-nervous-breakdowns. One was a full blown glass shattering break down. I’m good now though. Apparently break downs make me work really hard. Who knew.

I am quite lucky blessed though. I belong to a family that has helped me more than I ever thought possible. The family of God. Who is this family of God? Here in this community in which I live, it is my church family. The people in my church have been totally and completely amazing and I could not have survived this move without them. They have babysat, cleaned, lifted, comforted, and gave 110% the whole time.

Without them? I’d be a wreck. I know that is how God designed His church to be (His church being all who believe and put their faith in Christ Jesus our Lord, not individual churches).  “Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers.” ~Galatians 6:10.  We are to help each other, serve each other, and be accountable to one another. How much better can it get?

My God is good and he knows me well. He knows that I can be a bit too independent at times and He sends people to help me when I’m in over my head. He knows me and He loves me. You can’t get better than that.

These next couple days will include intense organizing, intense packing, and then a trip! Woo hoo! The girls and I are driving to my Opa’s place for his birthday, to Maya’s place for her birthday, and then flying to the Braam house to celebrate the birth of Kaitlyn! It’ll be Liliana’s first road trip. It’ll be interesting. I’m more looking forward to the flying part of it. I hate flying, but it’s way faster than driving all the way to Vancouver!

I know you’re starved for pictures and you’re sick of reading, so look forward to tomorrow when I will have a plethora of them! I’m finally able to cram our computer with pictures, what a great night this will be.